To the world, boys become men. Strong. Tough. Unshaken. But behind the exterior of growing social armor, the raw and unuttered reality — men are quietly shattering. And nobody knows it.
Today, we are seeing an alarming increase in events that defy our assumed conceptions of safety, justice, and love — not only for women, but for men as well.
From the Meerut murder case of a one-time Navy officer whose body was discovered in a drum by his wife Muskan Rastogi for allegedly having betrayed her, to Manav, a TCS employee whose wife Nikita was said to be in love with somebody else — all these are not isolated incidents. They are part of a macabre pattern that reveals how love, infidelity, and prejudice can become weapons against men as well.
The world turned to the woman, and its silence was deafening.
The Other Side of the Coin
Techie Atul Subhash’s suicide at 28 made a painful inquiry. Atul blamed her, her mother, and brother for mental torture. But public sympathy is subdued. Why?
Because the world does not expect men to be silent sufferers. It does not let them cry for help, complain of emotional abuse, or say, “I am not alright.”
Even the murder of Raja Raghuwanshi at the hands of a lover allegedly who ran away after killing him, left other than a body — it left a story bereft of emotional justice for men. Were the situations reversed, the headlines would screech for instant arrest, public outcry, and justice. But when the victim is a man? The silence is even then deafening.
Love: A Battlefield for Men in Modern Times?
There was a day when love was a refuge. Today, for a lot of men, it has turned into a war zone — where feelings are used as ammunition, motives are questioned, and one false step, one faulty mate, can rob them of their serenity, honor, or even life.
This is not a denigration of women, but rather an appeal to remember that men are vulnerable also. Men, too, are manipulated. Men, too, are abused. And unlike women, they suffer alone too — because society hardly ever believes them.
Love, in its most poisonous guise today, doesn’t necessarily equate to violence. Sometimes, it’s manipulation of the mind. Sometimes, it’s coercion in the guise of love. And sometimes, it’s betrayal so profound that it leads a man to commit suicide — not because he is weak, but because he has no one to go to.
Justice Isn’t Gendered — It Shouldn’t Be
And worse is the aftermath — the indifferent, glacial handling of male victims by the justice system. Bail is forthcoming when the accused is female. Sympathy pours in effortlessly. But when men weep, the world insists on proof, teases their manhood, or tells them to “man up.”
Why are we still not saying anything about this? Why aren’t male victims of emotional abuse and psychological trauma being taken seriously?
The Forgotten Gender
Boys are instructed from the time they are children — “Don’t cry,” “Be strong,” “Man up.” But in doing that, we deprive them of their entitlement to feel, to shatter, to seek assistance.
While attempting to make men, we forget boys are human beings first. Fragile, sensitive, and desiring gentleness when the world has tended to teach them their suffering doesn’t matter.
What is the society we are creating if our sons are more in fear of being judged than being shattered?
It’s Time for Change
Let’s end the measurement of pain based on gender. Let’s end the association of strength with silence. Let’s show our boys that they are important — that their heartbreak is important, that their trauma is not imagined, and that they can be vulnerable without shame. The next time a man says he’s not okay, listen. Because his silence might not be strength — it might be his final cry for help.
